Beyond Twitter

April 24, 2015 at 9:37 am | Posted in Short Story | 2 Comments
Tags: , ,

Twitter may be flavour of the decade. Yet it’ll surely be superseded by the next fad.

As soon as everyone follows everyone, Twitter will vanish up its own portal.

So what’s the next big thing after Twitter? Here are my hit picks for the future:


Accounts are allocated just 140 words, which must be used singly and once.

Whereupon the account is closed.


Messages must reveal other people’s secrets.


Messages must be of questionable veracity.


Messages must be patently insane.


Messages must be written in Brush Script MT or some other

indecipherable (and ideally unavailable) font.

Nothing bigger than 8 point.


Messages must be tapped out in Morse code on the

thighs and buttocks of fellow public transport users.


A local area network for users with contiguous properties separated by ‘fences’.

Messages must concern infants, recipes, mortgages or water restrictions.


Messages must exceed 14,000,000 characters.


Messages must contain more information than one wishes to reveal

(and others wish to know).

Best used when intoxicated.


Messages may be typed,

a few characters at a time,

over several weeks.

To be sent

when one

feels like it.

Or not.


Unlimited characters may be transcribed onto one or more

paper ‘pages’ and ‘mailed’ to the desired recipient.

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.



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  1. Some of your best work! I LOL’d. Or whatever. The mind boggles with further possibilities. I’d like to see the clandestine ‘Bugger’ shut down, of course.

    • Thanks heaps, Ad! LOL’d is one of the best one-word reviews I could wish for. I didn’t think Bugger made it past closed beta. Perhaps it went open source. Or darknet? One never knows these days … Kind regards, P. 😉

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